S1:E8 | You Gotta Have THIS For Strong Mental Health!
On to today’s episode…
How do you feel about being alone? Do you enjoy doing things by yourself? Do you think of friends and socializing as optional parts of your life? You know, nice to have, but not all that important?
Destiny can relate. She thought of herself as someone who was “really good at being alone”. Even when she was growing up.
But then a cascade of traumatic events happened to her and her family. And Destiny was more alone than ever before. She says she became “immensely, immensely lonely”.
It was then she made an important discovery. A discovery that’s vital for all of us in our pursuit of abundant mental health.
Want to find out more?
Listen to the podcast here
You Gotta Have THIS For Strong Mental Health!
What’s going on, everybody? It’s Destiny Malibu and my co-host, DJ Dezzee.
We’re so happy that you joined us yet again.
We are so happy you’re back. We are going to be talking about another 1 of these 7 pillars of mental health. We’ve talked about self-love and purpose, and now we are going to be talking about the importance of social life. I always considered myself someone who was good at being alone. I would often have a meal by myself. I would take drives for myself. I would go a couple of days sometimes without hanging out with somebody and doing my own thing, even though growing up, I always had my friends.
I considered myself someone who was good at being alone until our house burned down in Malibu. That was a traumatic thing. Our house burned down in the Woolsey Fire if you guys did not already know that. I have a music video about it, and a song I wrote about it. That’s called We Will Rise, and you guys can check that out. Desiree was at a mass shooting, which was terrifying, then moved to Florida right after that event happened.
I left Destiny all alone. I was there the entire time. She says she’s a lone wolf, but remember, big sister was always there.
I wasn’t necessarily a lone wolf. Desiree and I have always been best friends. People can attest that growing up. Even in high school, we shared a Facebook.
We were called Des Dez.
We shared a Facebook. We’ve always been very close, but I meant, in general, that I was comfortable doing things on my own. I didn’t think that I had a problem being alone until I actually experienced it. Desiree went to Florida and my parents and I moved to LA. Here I was in a new city. I had gone through a breakup, my sister moved, our house had burned down, Desiree had been through shooting, and there was a lot of emotion. Even though my friends were in Malibu, they were still about an hour away. I’m sure a lot of you can attest that sometimes even moving an hour away makes a dramatic difference in how often you see people. It’s hard to keep friendships when you’re in different states.Even moving for an hour away can sometimes make a dramatic difference in how often you see people. Click To Tweet
Also, not seeing each other every day.
Often, even in different cities like I experienced. I was in a new city and I felt lonely. This is sad to say. I remember the time I spent many weekends crying in my room.
You called me on a couple of those weekends, you were like, “What are you doing, Dez?”
I don’t know if any of you guys can attest to that, but sometimes, loneliness can take over. If you’re in a new city, a new state or a new town, and you haven’t quite made those connections yet, it can be tough, not to mention all the changes that we had gone through in 2020. I’m sure many of us can relate to that feeling of overwhelming loneliness because of this pandemic.
The pandemic was a big one. Everyone was at home, and you rarely got to see anybody unless you were in a relationship.
I know that there were a lot of different struggles that came out of the pandemic. A lot of new relationships were started and ended. There was a lot of chaos going on at that time, and we’re still not fully over the craziness.
Different states have different things and different hiccups here and there, so you got to go with the flow.
A lot of us can relate, especially now worldwide, to experiencing at some point or another, an immense feeling of loneliness.
That’s literally my worst fear. My worst fear is being alone. I always like to go out and do something.
Going back to the story I was saying about how all this change was happening, we had moved to LA, and then we were in LA for about a year. We decided to move to Las Vegas. When we moved to Las Vegas, I was not only in a new city, but I was in a new state. Now I was far away from my friends. In LA, even though I didn’t see my friends every week like I was used to, I was still seeing them once a month. I had some friends come to visit me and that was super sweet. I also went out to Malibu a couple of times, but I don’t drive that often because I’m not the best driver.
It’s terrifying. I always hold onto the door when she’s driving.
I’m not terrible, but I prefer to be driven. I had people come to see me. Shout out to all my friends who came to visit me in LA. I love you. Now we’re in Nevada, Las Vegas. We’re in a new state. Thankfully, it’s not too far from LA, but it’s still a new state. We’re in lockdown. I’m in a new place. I don’t know anybody. I thought I was lonely before in LA. Desiree is still in Florida. I became immensely lonely during the pandemic. At this time, I realized the super immense importance of social life. I realized its importance at a level I had never understood before. Even though I thought that I was good at having lunch by myself sometimes or doing things by myself, I had never experienced that level of isolation.
- We Will Rise – YouTube