This one is critical to all of us. We need hope. In Destiny’s own experience, the times when her mental health was the worst were the times when she had no sense of hope.
Hope is critical in hard times. It’s something we can lean on. But here’s the thing… How do we get and stay hopeful, especially when times are tough? It’s one thing to tell someone “Have hope!” It’s quite another to have a sense of hope when you truly don’t feel like it.
Good news! In today’s episode of The Destiny Malibu Podcast, Destiny shares some practical tips to help you cultivate hope. Along the way, you’ll discover what hope is, and what it’s not. You’ll also find out about why you want to avoid “toxic positivity.” Sound interesting? Listen to today’s episode!
Listen to the podcast here
How To Strengthen Your “Hope Muscle”
If you are new to the show, this is a mental health-focused show. We talk a lot about mental health. Mental health is something that is close to my heart. I’ve had my own struggles with it. I’ve had friends who have struggled with it. It’s something that I feel like a lot of times is not talked about as much as it should be. Even though we are in Vegas and this is a party city and lots of fun things to do, we want to make sure you guys are doing well with your mental health as well.
We’ve been talking about the seven pillars of mental health, self-love, the importance of purpose or knowing what your purpose, social life, exercise, and food. In one of our episodes, we talked about therapy and its importance. Now, we are going to be talking about the seventh pillar. After all these episodes, we’re on the seventh pillar and that is hope.
Hope is something that is important to quality mental health. I’ve noticed in my own life, at times when I’ve been low, seeking professional help and not sure where to turn next, that was a time in my life when I had lost my sense of hope. Hope is a lot of times the pillar that holds us together during hard times and something that we can lean on.
What happens with a lot of people is when you lose sight of hope, then it causes you to get to a point where you’re hopeless and don’t know where to turn next. We want to share with you guys some practical tips on how you can cultivate hope, especially in the mental health sphere. You hear things like, “Stay hopeful,” and it’s like, “How do I do that?” We want to share with you guys some tips on how you can cultivate more hope in your life and not lose sight of that because it is so important to have quality mental health.
One of the things that you can do to strengthen your hope muscle if you want to call it, is to focus on your strengths in life. Every single person on earth has a strength. If you’re sitting there right now and thinking to yourself, “I don’t know what my strength is.” We are going to find out together. If you haven’t discovered it yet, you can always discover what your strengths are at any point in life. This crosses over to another pillar that we talked about, which is purpose.
We talked about another episode of figuring out your purpose and one of those ways to do that is figuring out what makes you tick. What are the hobbies you like to do? Whether it’s something creative or you’re a mathematical person or a teacher, There are so many areas to explore. “What am I good at? How can I give back to the world and how can I share that?”
We want to make sure that you guys are exploring what your strengths are and focusing on that because a lot of times in mental health, we can sometimes have a tendency to focus on what we’re not doing right. If you’re focusing on what you’re not doing right, you’re not going to feel too good. We need to be focusing on what our individual strengths are. I’m an artist and a musician. I love making music. That’s the way that I’m able to contribute back to the world. Desiree is a DJ and she has a lot of strengths.
I like to help everyone in any way I can. I’m a people pleaser and sometimes it gets the better of me and I have a hard time saying no, but I have gotten better at it. I’m hopeful that I can help every one of you as much as I can.
Another thing that we can do to cultivate hope is to practice gratitude. Gratitude is an important part of mental health. A lot of times, something that can help us if we’re having a bad day is to sit and make a list of all the things that we’re thankful for and physically write it down. There’s something about writing things down with a real pen and paper, which I feel like we don’t do a lot. I do this sometimes.
We’re on social media all the time and got carpal tunnel in our thumbs.
Writing things down and making a list of what you’re thankful for is so beneficial to our mental health. When you’re done writing a list, It can improve your mood. It seems so simple, but a lot of the things that improve our mental health are simple. It’s about appreciating the simple things in life.
It’s taking a moment to smell that cup of coffee or the roses in the morning.
It seems cliché, but honestly, your list could be like, “I’m so thankful for my cup of coffee, running water, and the people in my life.” Making a list like that can quickly shift your focus from everything going wrong in your life to everything going right.
It will lead you to that hopeful moment when things are going to get better.
That’s something I want to touch on too. Being hopeful and optimistic are two different things. Sometimes people think optimism is somebody who’ll blindly say, “Everything is great. The world is sunshine and roses. Nothing Is bad.” Being hopeful and understanding what hope is realizing and having a mindset of, “Even if something goes wrong in my life, I’m going to be okay because I am hopeful for the future. I’m hopeful for the next day.” That is something that we have to remember because there are a lot of people who talk about something called Toxic Positivity. I’m not sure if you’ve heard about that.
I’ve heard of it, but not too familiar.
I’ve heard a lot about it and it is people who are pushing being positive and suppressing emotions. When we’re talking about hope and the importance of hope, we’re not promoting toxic positivity. We want you guys to feel and express your emotions. We are human. There is nothing wrong with having a bad day.
We all have them. I do.
Me too. None of us are immune to that, but the important part is to recognize, “I’m having a bad day.” Let yourself cry it out if you need to and take a moment to do what you need to do to get those emotions out. Maybe go for a walk or go dancing. When we focus on hope, it is the ability to come from that negative space or dark place and come back into this concept of hope of, “I’m going to be okay.”
We don’t want you guys to suppress your emotions. We want you to feel them, but then we want you to set up a limit for yourself for a few hours and say, “I’m going to cry for an hour and listen to some sad Adele songs. I’m going to let myself feel this, but then after this hour’s done, I’m going to re-shift to my strengths and gratitude. I’m going to give this day the best that I can.” That’s an important one.
Another thing that we can do is sometimes limit media exposure. A lot of times nowadays, we’re scrolling so much online and getting fed so much information on a constant basis, especially with TikTok. One second, you’re seeing a puppy getting rescued and you’re like, “A puppy is getting rescued,” and then the next episode talking about the pandemic or something. All of these emotions that we’re feeling so quickly because of social media are not natural for us. There’s not a natural ebb and flow like when you watch a movie, there’s a building point for the stories, whereas now, we got 30 seconds for each reel and it’s all a different topic.
Our brains are overloaded. Sometimes limiting media exposure can be beneficial. I’ve done social media breaks before but it’s hard. It’s addicting. Scheduling that into your life, especially if you’re having a stressful day, sometimes getting off of social media or not turning on the news if you’re already stressed is something that’s going to improve your day. It help you to refocus and spend time with nature.
It helps you get back on that hopeful track.
A couple more ways we want to share with you guys of how you can cultivate more hope is by seeking inspiration from others and surrounding yourself with positive people. It’s surrounding yourself with people in your life that are going to add to your life.
They’re going to help you look for that silver lining in that negative situation.
I do have a song Silver Lining, so check that out. It’s important to surround yourself with people who are like-minded and want to improve and grow every single day because that’s the goal of what we want to do. That’s a good one. Also, helping others is a good way to cultivate hope in our lives and hope for another day. Desiree did some community service.
Me and my ex at the time, back in Tampa, Florida decided to make little lunches, beans, rice, and protein. We cooked for 4 or 5 hours and made all this food. We made twenty lunch meals and got the disposable paper plates, silverware, and napkins, and wrapped it all up into little baggies. We went around downtown Tampa and found people who were in the dark corners of the streets or wherever they were. We found them and we’re like, “Would you like a hot meal this morning?” They’re like, “That’s so nice of you.” We were able to give out all our lunches that day. It wasn’t for us, but we wanted to reach out, help others, share that love, and give that hope that, “Today is not the worst day because we’re going to bring you this lunch.”
That’s so nice. It’s so important to get involved with your community and look to help people who are in need. I’ve done some community service as well. It’s like connecting with people and connecting with the world and reminding each other that you’re not alone, which is something we say on this show a lot. You’re not alone and we’re all in this human experience.
All of us have bad days. Some of us are going through tough times, but we can be there for each other. Seeking inspiration from people who are also focused on sharing that kindness and love is helpful. We wanted to remind you that cultivating hope in your life is understanding that there’s no guarantee that things are going to go the way you want, but regardless of the outcome, you’re going to be okay.
Everything is going to be all right.
That’s what hope is. Hope for a better day. We want to share that with you and hope that you can incorporate this into your life. We love you so much. Our mantra, if you guys don’t know it already, it is, “If you hate me, I love you. If you love me, I love you even more. You are not alone and we are in this together.”
We want to remind you guys to enter the giveaway that we have going on with Virgin Hotels Las Vegas. We’re so thankful. All you have to do to enter the giveaway to get a free weekend at the Virgin Hotels Las Vegas is subscribe, rate the show, and leave a review. You’re going to want to take a screenshot of that review before you hit send. Email it to Contest@DestinyMalibu.com because it does take 48 hours for the review to go live. You could win a free getaway to Vegas.
Who doesn’t want that?
Come hang out with us. We hope you guys enter the contest and win. We love you so much and see you on the next episode.
Therapy is a beautiful addition to your life.
It can help you uncover the underlying causes of your worries and fears.
It helps us to figure out what is it in our lives that either consciously or subconsciously could be affecting us still today.
There are lots of ways to stimulate happy hormones that will greatly help us cope with negatives.
Listen to this episode and find out what worked with Destiny and DJ Dezzee. Who knows, this could work for you too!
Listen to the podcast here
The Beauty Of Therapy!
What’s going on everybody? It’s Destiny Malibu and my co-host.
We are so excited to be here. If you are new to the Destiny Malibu show, it is a mental health-focused show. Where we talk about something that I feel like a lot of times goes under the radar, and it’s something that not a lot of people talk about. Living in Sin City, all the fun, and all of the good times in Vegas, it’s important to get a little in there about mental health.
We are so excited to be partnering with Virgin Hotels Las Vegas, and talking about this important topic. Something that we have been discussing on the show is something that we consider here, the pyramid for having quality mental health. We call it the Seven Pillars of Mental Health. We have been talking about it.
You can go back to the previous episodes and get an idea of how that works, and these pillars that we are talking about. We are talking about self-love, purpose, social life, the importance of quality social life, exercise, and food. We are going to be talking about the 6th and the 7th pillar of mental health that we are so excited to be discussing. The sixth one that we are going to be starting with is going to be about therapy. Therapy is something that is so pivotal to having quality mental health. Both Dezzee and I have been in therapy, and it’s something that has improved both of our lives.
The first time I started my first session in 2021 when I had just gone through a breakup. I was 28 years old. I was like, “What is going to happen in my life?” I don’t know what’s next for me. I needed someone to talk to. I reached out to several therapists, and I found the one that worked for me. She was absolutely amazing. She helped me realize that I don’t need anybody to make me happy, and I figured out how to do it on my own. I am happy and single, and I’m living my best life.
I’m single too, in case anybody’s out there. Therapy is something that is such a beautiful addition to your life. We were just talking to our friend Christina over here. She was saying she is in the mental health game, and she goes to therapy once a week. I have gone to therapy and it has improved my life so much. There’s so much you can learn from having a therapy session.
I think sometimes, you hear people. I have told people before who have thought about going to therapy, but are unsure like, “Why would I need therapy? Why am I going to pay someone money just to talk? That sounds silly. Why would I need to spend my money that way? Why would I need to do that?” The beautiful thing about therapy is that it helps us to figure out what is it in our lives that either consciously or subconsciously could be affecting us still.
Whether it was a divorce growing up, a childhood trauma, or an experience you had. Talking is the number one prevention when you are struggling with mental health. When you are talking to a professional. Sometimes you might go in there thinking that you are going to be helping one area of your life that you think you know you need help with. Discover that there’s a whole other area that you had no idea that you could tap into, discuss, learn about, and grow from. Figure out what it is in your life that could be contributing to some of the potential struggles that you might be having.
We want to encourage you to seek out talking to a professional, and getting that help from someone who’s trained. If seeing a professional at this time in your life is not something financially you could do, or it’s not something in your schedule that you can fit in at the time. There are so many amazing options out there.
There are companies like BetterHelp, which is online therapy, which you can do for a fraction of the price, which is a really amazing company. If doing individual therapy sounds a little too intense at first, there are different types that you could step into. There’s group therapy which I think is an awesome one. Sometimes, if you have never done it before, it can feel a little intimidating to step into the room with someone and talk about your whole life story.
Group therapy, it’s a nice introduction to being with other like-minded people and people who also want to grow, develop, and increase the quality of their mental health. There’s group therapy, family therapy, couple therapy, and also, pet therapy, which I’m a big fan of. If you didn’t know, Virgin Hotels Las Vegas is a pet-friendly hotel. If you guys have pets, you can bring them here. I’m missing my doggies right now. I wish we would have brought them. I don’t know why we didn’t. They are being babysat right now, but I’m missing them even though we only stayed here for two nights.
At my previous job managing a WeWork building, there was a lady, and she was all like, “Did you know that miniature horses are pet therapy?” They are the cutest little things. She brought it into our building. She got a whole tour with everyone in the whole building. The little horse giddy-upped all around. It was so cute.
I’m so excited that Dezzee told me this because now I have so much ammunition and reason for why I need a miniature horse. If I didn’t already have that already, I’m going to be searching for one, and we are going to bring it to the Virgin Hotel. It’s really cool to know that even if meeting with a professional isn’t something that you are wanting to do at this moment. There’s even pet therapy. Having a pet around in your life, and having that energy from an animal is healing.
Yes, because they do feel your emotions. They know when you are sad. They know when you are angry. They give you unconditional love. I definitely recommend doing some pet therapy.
Yes, that is one of my favorite ones. I can’t wait to go home and hug my baby doggies. Another thing we want to talk about. If talking to someone is not something that you are looking to do at the moment, there are also alternative therapies. There are things that you can do to strengthen your mental health that seems simple, but a lot of times are overlooked.
Things like journaling, taking a bath, and self-care, which can also cross into another pillar that we were talking about before, which is self-love. Taking care of yourself and finding things that you can incorporate into your life on a weekly basis that feels therapeutic. That improve your quality of life and improve your mental health, it’s so important. Something else that I wanted to touch on is the importance of nutritional therapy. This is something that I also feel gets overlooked a lot of times.
I want a little disclaimer. We are not doctors, so for anything that we share with you, make sure that you are consulting with your physicians or a professional. We are here to be your online best friends, be your Vegas girls. Talk with you guys, hang out with you, and discuss things that have helped us and have worked for us.
Mental health is something that hits home and is one of the reasons why I’m so passionate about this topic, because I, myself have had some struggles. I’m an artist. I’m an extremely emotional person. I have had my down moments in my life. I have had close friends that have also struggled with mental health. This is something that I’m extremely passionate about.
I want to share with you guys what has helped me because it took me many years to figure out what methods and what things I can incorporate into my life that would help me. One of the things that I want to share with you is the benefit of nutritional therapy. Something that I found fascinating is, quite a few years ago when I was struggling with my mental health, I went to go see a doctor.
I was like, “I think I’m going to need to be starting a medication or something. I don’t know what to do. I’m at a low point and I think I need to seek out some serious help.” Something that my doctor told me was like, “No problem. We can absolutely do that. There’s nothing wrong if we need to do that, but let’s get your vitamin D3 levels checked.”
She told me, “I have seen many people struggling with mental health where they get their vitamin D levels checked and it ends up being low.” I had no idea that this was a thing and I feel like it’s not talked about enough. I want to read to you guys some of the symptoms of having low vitamin D levels. Having low vitamin D levels can also be very similar symptoms to clinical depression.
It can be mood changes accompanied by overwhelming feelings of sadness or hopelessness, fatigue, forgetfulness, loss of interest in activities that previously sparked excitement, anxiety, loss of appetite, excessive weight loss, or gained trouble sleeping, and more. If you are experiencing any of those things, I encourage you to talk with your doctor. Consider getting your vitamin D levels checked.
We went and got mine checked. Sure enough, they were low. I started supplementing with vitamin D3. Every single week to this day, I go to Regenerate Medical Concierge in Vegas. I get vitamin D3 shots every single week. I cannot tell you how life-changing. When I say life-changing, literally, for me at that point in my life was the difference between me wanting to continue my life or not.
It changed my life just by getting this vitamin D supplementation. Again, I’m not a doctor, Dezzee is not a doctor. Check with your physicians, but I encourage you guys to get that checked. That might be something that could be low, that a lot of times can be overlooked. It could save someone’s life. I want to share that with you and emphasize how important it’s to get those vitamin D3 levels checked. Even though we are in Las Vegas and we are in the sun, vitamin D typically comes from the sun. It is in some foods, but mostly from the sun.
In Seattle or London where it’s glooming cloudy all the time, a lot of those tend to have lower mental health because they are not exposed to enough vitamin D.
That’s statistically a very common thing that people in areas where it’s gloomy a lot, where it’s raining, that there are higher rates of mental health struggles and depression. Personally, even though we are in a sunny city, I don’t go in the sun that much because I’m trying not to get wrinkles. I’m trying to protect my skin. At the same time, there are pros and cons to everything.
That literally could save someone’s life. I want to emphasize that to you. That’s an important one. We want to let you guys know that this pillar of therapy is so important. There’s nothing to be ashamed of in seeking professional help. Talking with somebody is so beneficial for your mental health, and can improve your life so much.
Get those vitamin D levels checked because it was life-changing for me. I think it could be life-changing for a lot of you out there who may be struggling. Make sure you come to the Virgin Hotels Las Vegas because we care about mental health here. We are all about the fun, we are all about the partying, and we are all about having a good time. We also want to make sure you guys are mentally doing good. We are here to be your family. We are here to be your online friends. We want you guys to be a part of the community. You can go to DestinyMalibuPodcast.com to learn more information.
We have got some acoustic music coming up. I am an artist, I am a singer, as well as a podcaster. Dezzee is a DJ. We got some musicians here with us. We are going to be singing some music for you. Make sure you check out my music, it’s Destiny Malibu. My Instagram, @DestinyMalibu. We are always talking about music and going over things like mental health with the show. Give us a follow, and we are so happy to be hanging out with you.
We are going to end it with our mantra, The Destiny Malibu Angel Squad mantra, which is something we like to say because it brings us together and it’s a really important message to remember. If you know it, say it with us. “If you hate, I love you. If you love me, I love you even more. You are not alone. We are in this together.” We love you guys so much. We will see you in the next episode. We are going to be doing some music for you. We love you.
On to today’s episode…
Destiny spends a lot of time talking about the Seven Pillars of mental health. Today, she focuses on another one.
This pillar is easy to overlook. We often don’t associate it with mental health. We often don’t feel like doing it.
But when we do it? The benefits—physical, emotional and mental—are AMAZING! It can make us healthier and give us a dramatic mood lift.
In fact, a study from Harvard Medical School shows that, for some people who suffer from depression, this pillar works as well as antidepressants.
And it’s something we can do anywhere.
So what is it? Listen Now!
Listen to the podcast here
Will This Grow Your “Mental Muscle”?
We have some exciting news. We are going to be talking also about another one of the seven pillars of mental health. We have talked about self-love, purpose, and social life, and now we are going to be talking about exercise.
Everybody’s favorite thing to do.
For a lot of us, sometimes it’s hard to get up and move, especially when our phones are so entertaining.
We are tired from work all day and we are like, “Do I want to go to the gym right now?”
Exercise is so pivotal for quality mental health. I noticed a dramatic difference in my mood when I started making it a priority to exercise regularly.
For me too. When I am stressed or angry about something, my go-to thing is to move around, go for a walk, dance, or go to the gym to get that tension out of my body.
I want to read to you an awesome fact from Harvard Medical School. It says, “For some people, exercise works as well as antidepressants.” That’s insane. What an incredible tool we have at our fingertips. When I’m having a tough day or a difficult day, what can I do to help myself to get out of this mood or whatever it is? When I go to the gym, even if I don’t want to go initially, I always feel so much better.
It says, “Although exercise alone isn’t enough for someone with severe depression,” for those of you who are on medication, that’s totally fine. This is also even an additional thing that we can add to our regimen, regardless of, what that looks like for you. It says, “People who are depressed, neuroscientists have noticed that the hippocampus in the brain, the region that helps regulate mood is smaller. Exercise supports nerve cell growth in the hippocampus improving nerve cell connections, which helps relieve depression.”
This is huge. We often hear these things like, “Drink water or exercise,” whatever it is. It goes in one ear and out the other. Sometimes like, “The old adage of exercise.” Exercising is so beneficial for our lives.
If you think about it, that’s saying the hippocampus is a growing muscle. When you go and work out, you are growing your physical muscles, but you are also growing your mental muscles.
That’s such a good point. That’s fascinating. It creates new neuro connections in the hippocampus. Desiree and I both love to be active in different ways.
She’s more of a gym girl.
I’m a gym girl. Shout out to my gym people.
I am more of a go out and dance, do a sport, or something like that.
I have gotten into line dancing with Desiree. We do that every single week. Sometimes I’m able to get Desiree to the gym with me.
I try to go about once a week. Once a week I’m like, “I don’t get to go dancing. Let’s go hit the gym.”
If you are not a gym person, there are so many ways to get the exercise that doesn’t have to be the gym or this insane rigorous workout.
Yes. Stretching, doing yoga, or something that’s relaxing, but stretching your muscles. I got into yoga the last few years and I did it twice a week. You can do it anywhere. If you have a yoga mat, you can do it at home or wherever. There are so many videos on YouTube on how to do it. Maybe we will even do some videos on how you do yoga.
Maybe we should. It will be fun. We will maybe do a guided workout video, even though I’m not a fitness instructor, but maybe we could show you what we do or our go-to exercises. I also want to stress the importance of fashion at the gym. It’s funny because sometimes we can forget how much an outfit can change how we are feeling. Honestly, a good outfit for a guy or girl has the ability to boost your confidence and mood. Nothing makes me want to work workout more than feeling like a gym baddie in my outfit. If I have a gym baddie outfit on, I’m like, “I have to work out. It’s non-negotiable.” Get those cute workout clothes.
As I said, it doesn’t have to be the gym. You can go on a hike, swim, play pickleball, or tennis, take a dance class, or go for a walk. As Desiree said, you can online on YouTube. It’s so amazing with technology how there are so many lessons online. I have a friend who said that they learned how to line dance from watching a YouTube video. That’s amazing.
Stretching your body is not even that vigorous, but it will improve your mood. It’s making that connection between body and mind. A lot of times we associate exercise with our physical appearance more than anything else. “I got to get shredded for summer. I got to work out to have a summer body.” The physical benefits of exercise are amazing, but for anyone who is struggling with mental health, which all of us, at some point do because we are all humans, in your mind, in my opinion, not make a physical appearance the focus because all shapes and sizes are beautiful, but make overall health the focus.
If we switch the focus from appearance to health, it’s much more encouraging. It’s much more amazing. Instead of being like, “I got to go to the gym because I ate too much,” or something like that. You wake up and go, “I got to the gym because I love myself and I need to show my body love by taking care of my health.” We want you guys to incorporate exercise. Send us to DM and let us know what your activity of choice is.
What’s your favorite thing to do for exercise?
Send us a picture or a selfie. We love to see that.
You can send it to AskDestinyMalibu.com.
We have a special announcement. We are so excited to announce that we are going to be having some upcoming shows at the Virgin Hotel in Las Vegas. Three of the shows we are going to be doing the show live at the Virgin Hotel.
You want to be there for it.
In addition, after the live show, we are going to be doing some live music and then a little meet and greet. It’s going to be so much fun. On one of the days, we are going to be having a Pre-Release Party at the Virgin Hotel. It’s for my upcoming song called Say My Name, which I am so excited for you guys to hear. Everybody that comes to The Shag Room at the Virgin Hotel for the Pre-Release Party is going to be hearing it for the very first time before anyone else.
That event will be for those 21 and over. Make sure you get your tickets as soon as possible because there is limited capacity.
I’m going to let you know the dates. The first show is going to be on October 14, 2022, for all ages. The Pre-Release Party is going to be on October 21, 2022, at The Shag Room at the Virgin Hotel, and that’s 21 plus make sure you get your tickets. The second show is going to be on November 4, 2022. The third show is going to be on December 9, 2022.
Make sure you block out those dates. Come to Las Vegas and hang out with us. It is going to be so much fun. We are so excited to be partnering with the Virgin Hotel on this. We can’t wait to see your beautiful faces, do the show live, do some live music, and share my new song with you. I am so over the moon. We are so excited because the Virgin Hotel Las Vegas is going to be giving one of our listeners a free weekend getaway at the Virgin Hotel.
If you’d like to learn how to enter that sweepstake, you can go to DestinyMalibuPodcast.com.
Make sure you enter to win, block out those dates, and come to our shows at the Virgin Hotel in Las Vegas. We love you folks so much. We hope that you enjoyed this episode. To close out the show, we got to say the Angel Squad mantra. If you are at home or wherever you are, make sure you say this out loud and it is, “If you hate me, I love you. If you love me, I love you even more. You are not alone. We are in this together.” I love you all so much and see you on the next episode.