S1:E15 | A HUGE Part Of Human Connection!

S1:E15 | A HUGE Part Of Human Connection!

TDMP 15 | Human Connection


After diving into the Seven Pillars of Mental Health for the last several weeks, today, Destiny explores a different topic. A VERY important topic!

She talks about a quality that’s a crucial part of human connection. A quality that’s desperately needed, but sadly lacking, in our society. A quality that helps you understand people on a deeper level. A quality that gives you amazing mental, emotional and physical health benefits!

So what is it? And how do you develop it and live it out? Tune in to today’s episode of The Destiny Malibu Podcast!

Listen to the podcast here


A HUGE Part Of Human Connection!

We are so excited to be partnering with the Virgin Hotels Las Vegas, and talking about a topic that we feel a lot of times needs a little more love and is not talked about a lot, especially in Las Vegas, which is a party city.

We’re all about having fun, going out, and doing all those things.

However, we also want to make sure that you guys are feeling good mentally and emotionally. We’re here to be your friends and talk about some mental health topics with you guys and how we can build a community together of people who are focused on becoming the best version of themselves. We’ve been talking about the seven pillars of mental health, which is something that I made that has helped me through my mental health struggles and journey.

Those pillars that we’ve talked about, if you guys haven’t heard them yet, you can go back to previous episodes. We are diving into a new section because we’ve talked about all of our seven pillars of mental health. In this episode, we are sifting into a new topic, which is called empathy and the importance of empathy. That’s what we’re going to be discussing. Empathy is a crucial part of human connection, feeling connected to the people around you and understanding people. It’s the ability to step into someone else’s shoes and imagine what they’re going through. A lot of people are struggling out there and are keeping it private and not telling anybody.

They’re suppressing it and holding it in. They are building it up until one day, the bubble is over. We don’t want any of you to go through that. We’re trying to let you know now how to be empathetic with each other.

How to be empathetic, how to be a good listener, how to check in on your friends and make sure that they’re doing good. Make sure that they’re feeling okay because a lot of people were struggling with their mental health during the pandemic. Now, that things are opening back up, we’re so happy. We’re at the Virgin Hotels Las Vegas, and we want to be your online friends and remind you guys of the importance of empathy.

We are going to be talking about the three different types of empathy. I thought this was very interesting. There is cognitive empathy, emotional empathy, and also compassionate empathy. Cognitive empathy is the ability to understand what someone is going through. Someone tells you a story. Maybe they were late to work, got a flat tire, or something crazy happened. They tell you about it and you’re like, “I understand how that could be a difficult situation.”

When you understand, you have to sit there and listen, right?

Yes. Listening is a huge part of understanding. Dezzee is an extremely good listener. She listens to me. Babble away nonstop.

Listening is a huge part of understanding. Click To Tweet

I do. She’s like, “Are you listening?” I’m like, “Yes, I am,” and I say back whatever it is that she’s saying.

She’s a fantastic listener. I love people and I love communication. I enjoy asking people how they’re doing and diving deep into those topics. Cognitive empathy is understanding. We also have emotional empathy, and this is when you are able to physically feel what this person is feeling. I’m sure a lot of you guys have experienced this. Sometimes you see someone crying and your eyes start tearing up.

That’s mirroring, but it’s also emotional empathy when you’re able to see someone in pain or somebody struggling and feel that physically in your body. Also, feel the sensation of what that person might be going through. This is emotional empathy. We have the third one, which is compassionate empathy and it’s a combination of cognitive and emotional empathy. Compassionate empathy is the combination of being able to understand and feel what the person is going through.

That normally comes around when you’ve also experienced what that person has gone through. Is that right?

Yes. It’s important to exercise this muscle of compassionate empathy because it’s a huge part of the human connection of being able to understand what someone is going through. Something that I also want to highlight is the difference between empathy and sympathy because I think that’s easy to get confused too. What’s the difference between empathy and sympathy? Sympathy essentially is the ability to feel sorry for someone, to pity someone, but to separate yourself emotionally from what they are going through. You’re feeling sorry for them and pitying them, but you’re not allowing yourself to physically feel any of those sad emotions.

You’re keeping it at an arm’s distance.

You’re like, “I’m so sorry for you. That sounds sad,” but you’re not emotionally connecting. Empathy is the ability to see somebody and emotionally connect. You sit there with them and say, “I understand what you’re feeling. I feel your pain.” Maybe you’ve been through something similar. This is the difference between empathy and sympathy, which is important to highlight how beautiful it is to be able to empathize with someone. It’s because when you’re sympathizing with someone, you’re removed from it. You’re like, “I hope that gets better. I feel sorry for you,” but you’re not having that emotional connection with the person.

You’re probably not listening. You’re like, “I don’t understand what you’re talking about and I’m not going to listen.”

It’s important to remember to ask people how they’re doing. Ask them what’s going on in their life and how they’re feeling emotionally, and then be able to sit there and exercise the ability to truly empathize with people. This is a huge part of human connection. It can help you make your relationships so beautiful, build them up, and build those strong connections with people, which at the end of the day, we all want to have those strong connections with people.

As mom told us when we were little is that we have two ears and one mouth. We should be listening twice as much as we talk.

That’s a good highlight and it’s true. We got to make sure we are listening to each other and checking on each other. Also, practicing empathy is not only beneficial for the people around you, but it’s beneficial for you. Studies show that it benefits your health so you are less stressed and you have less negativity in your life. It improves communication skills in your workplace. It improves the connections you have with your fellow coworkers. It transcends personal relationships to a totally different level.

Remember that when you’re going out into the world or when you’re hanging out with people that you are showing empathy for the people you care about and people that you don’t know that well. Sometimes, I’m walking around and I’ve seen people crying in a hallway or something. I always stop and I’m like, “Are you okay?” Sometimes people don’t want to talk. That’s fine. Sometimes people want a hug. They want to talk. It’s not that all of us have the time to do that, but it’s such a beautiful thing to connect with people in that way.

A lot of times, especially with social media and stuff, we all seem to be perfectly happy all the time. It’s because we’re posting everything that’s going good. However, a lot of us are going through hard times. Remember to check in on your loved ones and exercise your empathy muscle. We love you guys so much and we’re so happy to be partnering with the Virgin Hotels Las Vegas, talking about mental health in a big party city and bringing light to this topic.

If you have any questions that you may want to ask Destiny that you want us to talk about in future episodes, you can go to AskDestinyMalibu.com and submit your questions there. Also, there is a free giveaway. Is that right, Destiny?

Yes, Dezzee. We are giving away a free weekend getaway to the Virgin Hotels Las Vegas. They have been so gracious to do this giveaway with us. You guys get to win a free hotel stay weekend getaway. All you have to do to enter this giveaway is subscribe to the show, rate the show and leave a review. You’re going to want to take a screenshot of your review before you hit send. You can email it to Contest@DestinyMalibu.com because it does take 48 hours for the review to go live. All you have to do is submit it. Review the show and send it to that email address and you could win a free weekend getaway and dinner with us.

We’d love to have dinner with you so make sure you do that. I think we’re going to end the show with our mantra.

If you don’t know the mantra yet, it is, “If you hate me, I love you. If you love me, I love you even more. You are not alone, and we are in this together.” We love you guys so much. Make sure you come back for the next episode.


 Important Links


S1:E12 | Better Food. Better Mood!

S1:E12 | Better Food. Better Mood!

TDMP 12 | Better Mood


It’s strange but true—what you eat affects not just how you feel physically, but also how you feel emotionally and mentally. Indeed, food is a very important pillar of good mental health.

There’s a strong connection between your brain and your gut. According to a Harvard study, 90% of your serotonin receptors are located in your digestive tract. So doesn’t it make sense that the food you eat will affect your mood and your mental health?

When Destiny was younger, she had some pretty intense mental health struggles. She didn’t know it then, but she was also afflicted with lots of food sensitivities.

It turns out that the foods causing her physical problems were also hurting her mental health.

But now? She feels MUCH better! What did she do to experience such a remarkable turnaround? And what does she recommend you do?

She talks about it on today’s episode of the Destiny Malibu Podcast. Check it out here!

Listen to the podcast here


Better Food. Better Mood!

What’s going on, everybody? Welcome back to the show. It’s just going to be me because Dezzee is traveling in Florida, so everybody say, “I love you Dezzee and I miss you,” in the comment section. I know I’m missing her now but in this episode, we are going to be talking about another one of the seven pillars of mental health. We’ve talked about self-love, social life, purpose and exercise and now we are going to be talking about a very important pillar, which is food. Before we dive into this topic, I want to read you, folks, a quote from Harvard Health.

It says, “When we consider the connection between the brain and the gut, it’s important to know that 90% of serotonin receptors are located in the gut. In a relatively new field of nutritional psychiatry, we help patients understand how gut health and diet can positively or negatively affect their mood. When someone has been prescribed an antidepressant such as an SSRI, the most common side effects are gut related. Many people temporarily experience nausea or gastrointestinal problems. There’s anatomical and physiologic two-way communication between the gut and the brain via the vagus nerve. The gut-brain access offers us a greater understanding of the connection between diet and disease, including depression and anxiety.”

I have always been extremely fascinated by gut-brain access. Right there in the quote, you heard that 90% of our serotonin is produced in our gut. I’m sure you’ve heard the saying, “You are what you eat,” and that is such a true statement because when it comes to our mood, our mental health and in general, how we’re feeling, our energy levels and everything, what we’re eating affects how we’re going to feel physically but also emotionally.

That’s what we’ve been discovering more with new studies. They said the new field of nutritional psychiatry is starting to make some amazing discoveries. What happens is, in our guts, we have good and we have bad bacteria. There’s an ecosystem and a balance where the good bacteria should be overpopulating the bad.

What happens a lot of times is maybe we’re not sleeping as much, not being as careful with the health of our food choices and if that bad bacteria start to overpopulate the good and the ratio starts to get imbalanced. This is when we can start to see problems with our health. Not only physically but because it’s going to affect our mood because of the gut-brain access. The gut-brain axis is fascinating. I know I’ve experienced this before, if you’re nervous, maybe you get butterflies in your stomach or your stomach feels weird.

Conversely, if our emotions can affect our stomach and causes us to feel butterflies and nervousness and all of these types of things in the stomach, then also the opposite is true. If our gut is not balanced and the bad bacteria is overpopulating the good, that can also send signals to our brain and cause sad emotions. The gut-brain axis is fascinating to me. It’s important for us to make choices with our food that are going to help us thrive and be the best versions of ourselves physically and mentally.

It's important for us to make choices with our food that are going to help us thrive and be the best versions of ourselves physically and mentally. Click To Tweet

I think the importance of food and what we’re eating a lot of times can get overlooked in the mental health sphere. Personally, when I was younger and I was struggling with my mental health, I didn’t know it at the time but I was struggling with a lot of food sensitivities and inflammation in the gut. Inflammation in general is one of the root causes of disease.

I didn’t realize that all of this inflammation going on with my gut because I was sensitive to the foods I was eating was also affecting my mental health. I know that everyone has a different version of eating and what feels good to them. It’s important to emphasize that I don’t believe there’s one size fits all for a way of eating.

Everybody’s different. It’s important to speak with your doctors, with your physicians and figure out what way of eating is healthiest for you and for your body and your body type. I tried a lot of different styles of eating to figure out what made me feel my best physically and emotionally, my mental clarity, my energy, my skin and all of those things.

I wanted to see what way of eating made me feel my best. After trying a lot of different styles of eating vegan and vegetarian, pescatarian and paleo and all of these different types of ways of eating, I found Dr. Gundry and Dr. Paul Saladino. Both of them have so much information and are incredibly intelligent men. I’ve learned a lot from them.

I’d say that the way I eat now is a combination of Dr. Gundry and Dr. Paul Saladino’s suggestions. For the most part, I focus on a whole foods-based diet. That’s what works for me and what that looks like for me is a lot of fruits, vegetables like spaghetti squash, zucchini, butternut squash, mushrooms, spinach, mixed greens, lots of fruits and lots of healthy fats like extra virgin olive oil and pasture-raised butter.

I do well with eating meat. I know not everybody eats meat and that’s totally personal. Tortillas out of cassava flour with water and olive, mix it together with cassava flour and cook them on the grill and put butter on them. That’s basically what I eat every single day and I feel good like that. My mental clarity is good. My skin improves so much. My energy improves so much.

I discovered that a few years ago I was living in a very high state of inflammation. As we talked about from Harvard Health, 90% of serotonin is made in your gut. If your whole body is inflamed, if your stomach is inflamed and that serotonin isn’t being produced properly, it can affect not only your physical health but your mental health too.

I found what works for me and I’m happy with it. I feel better than I’ve ever felt in my whole life, honestly, following this low inflammation way of eating. Though we all have different ideas of what the right menu looks like for us as individuals, we all can agree that and trying to grab more natural foods, more things like fruit and more things that come from the earth instinctively make more sense.

Let’s all try to get those fruits in, try to get those veggies in and make choices with our food with the mentality of how can I nourish my body? How can I give my body the best fuel, the most premium grade fuel to function at its highest level so I can live a long life, healthy life and energetic life? That’s what we want to do. I want to encourage you guys to make those healthy food choices and not forget that the food we eat has a direct impact on our mental health. I love you folks so much and I hope that you are able to incorporate this pillar into your life and pick foods that nourish your bodies.

S1:E14 | How To Strengthen Your “Hope Muscle”

S1:E14 | How To Strengthen Your “Hope Muscle”

TDMP 14 | Cultivating Hope


This one is critical to all of us. We need hope. In Destiny’s own experience, the times when her mental health was the worst were the times when she had no sense of hope.

Hope is critical in hard times. It’s something we can lean on. But here’s the thing… How do we get and stay hopeful, especially when times are tough? It’s one thing to tell someone “Have hope!” It’s quite another to have a sense of hope when you truly don’t feel like it.

Good news! In today’s episode of The Destiny Malibu Podcast, Destiny shares some practical tips to help you cultivate hope. Along the way, you’ll discover what hope is, and what it’s not. You’ll also find out about why you want to avoid “toxic positivity.” Sound interesting? Listen to today’s episode!

Listen to the podcast here


How To Strengthen Your “Hope Muscle”

If you are new to the show, this is a mental health-focused show. We talk a lot about mental health. Mental health is something that is close to my heart. I’ve had my own struggles with it. I’ve had friends who have struggled with it. It’s something that I feel like a lot of times is not talked about as much as it should be. Even though we are in Vegas and this is a party city and lots of fun things to do, we want to make sure you guys are doing well with your mental health as well.

We’ve been talking about the seven pillars of mental health, self-love, the importance of purpose or knowing what your purpose, social life, exercise, and food. In one of our episodes, we talked about therapy and its importance. Now, we are going to be talking about the seventh pillar. After all these episodes, we’re on the seventh pillar and that is hope.

Hope is something that is important to quality mental health. I’ve noticed in my own life, at times when I’ve been low, seeking professional help and not sure where to turn next, that was a time in my life when I had lost my sense of hope. Hope is a lot of times the pillar that holds us together during hard times and something that we can lean on.

What happens with a lot of people is when you lose sight of hope, then it causes you to get to a point where you’re hopeless and don’t know where to turn next. We want to share with you guys some practical tips on how you can cultivate hope, especially in the mental health sphere. You hear things like, “Stay hopeful,” and it’s like, “How do I do that?” We want to share with you guys some tips on how you can cultivate more hope in your life and not lose sight of that because it is so important to have quality mental health.

One of the things that you can do to strengthen your hope muscle if you want to call it, is to focus on your strengths in life. Every single person on earth has a strength. If you’re sitting there right now and thinking to yourself, “I don’t know what my strength is.” We are going to find out together. If you haven’t discovered it yet, you can always discover what your strengths are at any point in life. This crosses over to another pillar that we talked about, which is purpose.

One of the things that you can do to strengthen your hope muscle is to focus on your strengths. Click To Tweet

We talked about another episode of figuring out your purpose and one of those ways to do that is figuring out what makes you tick. What are the hobbies you like to do? Whether it’s something creative or you’re a mathematical person or a teacher, There are so many areas to explore. “What am I good at? How can I give back to the world and how can I share that?”

We want to make sure that you guys are exploring what your strengths are and focusing on that because a lot of times in mental health, we can sometimes have a tendency to focus on what we’re not doing right. If you’re focusing on what you’re not doing right, you’re not going to feel too good. We need to be focusing on what our individual strengths are. I’m an artist and a musician. I love making music. That’s the way that I’m able to contribute back to the world. Desiree is a DJ and she has a lot of strengths.

I like to help everyone in any way I can. I’m a people pleaser and sometimes it gets the better of me and I have a hard time saying no, but I have gotten better at it. I’m hopeful that I can help every one of you as much as I can.

Another thing that we can do to cultivate hope is to practice gratitude. Gratitude is an important part of mental health. A lot of times, something that can help us if we’re having a bad day is to sit and make a list of all the things that we’re thankful for and physically write it down. There’s something about writing things down with a real pen and paper, which I feel like we don’t do a lot. I do this sometimes.

We’re on social media all the time and got carpal tunnel in our thumbs.

Writing things down and making a list of what you’re thankful for is so beneficial to our mental health. When you’re done writing a list, It can improve your mood. It seems so simple, but a lot of the things that improve our mental health are simple. It’s about appreciating the simple things in life.

It’s taking a moment to smell that cup of coffee or the roses in the morning.

It seems cliché, but honestly, your list could be like, “I’m so thankful for my cup of coffee, running water, and the people in my life.” Making a list like that can quickly shift your focus from everything going wrong in your life to everything going right.

It will lead you to that hopeful moment when things are going to get better.

That’s something I want to touch on too. Being hopeful and optimistic are two different things. Sometimes people think optimism is somebody who’ll blindly say, “Everything is great. The world is sunshine and roses. Nothing Is bad.” Being hopeful and understanding what hope is realizing and having a mindset of, “Even if something goes wrong in my life, I’m going to be okay because I am hopeful for the future. I’m hopeful for the next day.” That is something that we have to remember because there are a lot of people who talk about something called Toxic Positivity. I’m not sure if you’ve heard about that.

I’ve heard of it, but not too familiar.

I’ve heard a lot about it and it is people who are pushing being positive and suppressing emotions. When we’re talking about hope and the importance of hope, we’re not promoting toxic positivity. We want you guys to feel and express your emotions. We are human. There is nothing wrong with having a bad day.

We all have them. I do.

Me too. None of us are immune to that, but the important part is to recognize, “I’m having a bad day.” Let yourself cry it out if you need to and take a moment to do what you need to do to get those emotions out. Maybe go for a walk or go dancing. When we focus on hope, it is the ability to come from that negative space or dark place and come back into this concept of hope of, “I’m going to be okay.”

We don’t want you guys to suppress your emotions. We want you to feel them, but then we want you to set up a limit for yourself for a few hours and say, “I’m going to cry for an hour and listen to some sad Adele songs. I’m going to let myself feel this, but then after this hour’s done, I’m going to re-shift to my strengths and gratitude. I’m going to give this day the best that I can.” That’s an important one.

Another thing that we can do is sometimes limit media exposure. A lot of times nowadays, we’re scrolling so much online and getting fed so much information on a constant basis, especially with TikTok. One second, you’re seeing a puppy getting rescued and you’re like, “A puppy is getting rescued,” and then the next episode talking about the pandemic or something. All of these emotions that we’re feeling so quickly because of social media are not natural for us. There’s not a natural ebb and flow like when you watch a movie, there’s a building point for the stories, whereas now, we got 30 seconds for each reel and it’s all a different topic.

Our brains are overloaded. Sometimes limiting media exposure can be beneficial. I’ve done social media breaks before but it’s hard. It’s addicting. Scheduling that into your life, especially if you’re having a stressful day, sometimes getting off of social media or not turning on the news if you’re already stressed is something that’s going to improve your day. It help you to refocus and spend time with nature.

It helps you get back on that hopeful track.

A couple more ways we want to share with you guys of how you can cultivate more hope is by seeking inspiration from others and surrounding yourself with positive people. It’s surrounding yourself with people in your life that are going to add to your life.

They’re going to help you look for that silver lining in that negative situation.

I do have a song Silver Lining, so check that out. It’s important to surround yourself with people who are like-minded and want to improve and grow every single day because that’s the goal of what we want to do. That’s a good one. Also, helping others is a good way to cultivate hope in our lives and hope for another day. Desiree did some community service.

Helping others is a good way to cultivate hope into our lives. Click To Tweet

Me and my ex at the time, back in Tampa, Florida decided to make little lunches, beans, rice, and protein. We cooked for 4 or 5 hours and made all this food. We made twenty lunch meals and got the disposable paper plates, silverware, and napkins, and wrapped it all up into little baggies. We went around downtown Tampa and found people who were in the dark corners of the streets or wherever they were. We found them and we’re like, “Would you like a hot meal this morning?” They’re like, “That’s so nice of you.” We were able to give out all our lunches that day. It wasn’t for us, but we wanted to reach out, help others, share that love, and give that hope that, “Today is not the worst day because we’re going to bring you this lunch.”

That’s so nice. It’s so important to get involved with your community and look to help people who are in need. I’ve done some community service as well. It’s like connecting with people and connecting with the world and reminding each other that you’re not alone, which is something we say on this show a lot. You’re not alone and we’re all in this human experience.

All of us have bad days. Some of us are going through tough times, but we can be there for each other. Seeking inspiration from people who are also focused on sharing that kindness and love is helpful. We wanted to remind you that cultivating hope in your life is understanding that there’s no guarantee that things are going to go the way you want, but regardless of the outcome, you’re going to be okay.

Everything is going to be all right.

That’s what hope is. Hope for a better day. We want to share that with you and hope that you can incorporate this into your life. We love you so much. Our mantra, if you guys don’t know it already, it is, “If you hate me, I love you. If you love me, I love you even more. You are not alone and we are in this together.”

We want to remind you guys to enter the giveaway that we have going on with Virgin Hotels Las Vegas. We’re so thankful. All you have to do to enter the giveaway to get a free weekend at the Virgin Hotels Las Vegas is subscribe, rate the show, and leave a review. You’re going to want to take a screenshot of that review before you hit send. Email it to Contest@DestinyMalibu.com because it does take 48 hours for the review to go live. You could win a free getaway to Vegas.

Who doesn’t want that?

Come hang out with us. We hope you guys enter the contest and win. We love you so much and see you on the next episode.


Important Links

S1:E13 | The Beauty Of Therapy!

S1:E13 | The Beauty Of Therapy!

TDMP 13 | The Beauty Of Therapy


Therapy is a beautiful addition to your life.

It can help you uncover the underlying causes of your worries and fears.

It helps us to figure out what is it in our lives that either consciously or subconsciously could be affecting us still today.

There are lots of ways to stimulate happy hormones that will greatly help us cope with negatives.

Listen to this episode and find out what worked with Destiny and DJ Dezzee. Who knows, this could work for you too!

Listen to the podcast here


The Beauty Of Therapy!

What’s going on everybody? It’s Destiny Malibu and my co-host.

DJ Dezzee.

We are so excited to be here. If you are new to the Destiny Malibu show, it is a mental health-focused show. Where we talk about something that I feel like a lot of times goes under the radar, and it’s something that not a lot of people talk about. Living in Sin City, all the fun, and all of the good times in Vegas, it’s important to get a little in there about mental health.

We are so excited to be partnering with Virgin Hotels Las Vegas, and talking about this important topic. Something that we have been discussing on the show is something that we consider here, the pyramid for having quality mental health. We call it the Seven Pillars of Mental Health. We have been talking about it.

You can go back to the previous episodes and get an idea of how that works, and these pillars that we are talking about. We are talking about self-love, purpose, social life, the importance of quality social life, exercise, and food. We are going to be talking about the 6th and the 7th pillar of mental health that we are so excited to be discussing. The sixth one that we are going to be starting with is going to be about therapy. Therapy is something that is so pivotal to having quality mental health. Both Dezzee and I have been in therapy, and it’s something that has improved both of our lives.

The first time I started my first session in 2021 when I had just gone through a breakup. I was 28 years old. I was like, “What is going to happen in my life?” I don’t know what’s next for me. I needed someone to talk to. I reached out to several therapists, and I found the one that worked for me. She was absolutely amazing. She helped me realize that I don’t need anybody to make me happy, and I figured out how to do it on my own. I am happy and single, and I’m living my best life.

I’m single too, in case anybody’s out there. Therapy is something that is such a beautiful addition to your life. We were just talking to our friend Christina over here. She was saying she is in the mental health game, and she goes to therapy once a week. I have gone to therapy and it has improved my life so much. There’s so much you can learn from having a therapy session.

Therapy is such a beautiful addition to your life. Click To Tweet

I think sometimes, you hear people. I have told people before who have thought about going to therapy, but are unsure like, “Why would I need therapy? Why am I going to pay someone money just to talk? That sounds silly. Why would I need to spend my money that way? Why would I need to do that?” The beautiful thing about therapy is that it helps us to figure out what is it in our lives that either consciously or subconsciously could be affecting us still.

Whether it was a divorce growing up, a childhood trauma, or an experience you had. Talking is the number one prevention when you are struggling with mental health. When you are talking to a professional. Sometimes you might go in there thinking that you are going to be helping one area of your life that you think you know you need help with. Discover that there’s a whole other area that you had no idea that you could tap into, discuss, learn about, and grow from. Figure out what it is in your life that could be contributing to some of the potential struggles that you might be having.

We want to encourage you to seek out talking to a professional, and getting that help from someone who’s trained. If seeing a professional at this time in your life is not something financially you could do, or it’s not something in your schedule that you can fit in at the time. There are so many amazing options out there.

There are companies like BetterHelp, which is online therapy, which you can do for a fraction of the price, which is a really amazing company. If doing individual therapy sounds a little too intense at first, there are different types that you could step into. There’s group therapy which I think is an awesome one. Sometimes, if you have never done it before, it can feel a little intimidating to step into the room with someone and talk about your whole life story.

Group therapy, it’s a nice introduction to being with other like-minded people and people who also want to grow, develop, and increase the quality of their mental health. There’s group therapy, family therapy, couple therapy, and also, pet therapy, which I’m a big fan of. If you didn’t know, Virgin Hotels Las Vegas is a pet-friendly hotel. If you guys have pets, you can bring them here. I’m missing my doggies right now. I wish we would have brought them. I don’t know why we didn’t. They are being babysat right now, but I’m missing them even though we only stayed here for two nights.

At my previous job managing a WeWork building, there was a lady, and she was all like, “Did you know that miniature horses are pet therapy?” They are the cutest little things. She brought it into our building. She got a whole tour with everyone in the whole building. The little horse giddy-upped all around. It was so cute.

I’m so excited that Dezzee told me this because now I have so much ammunition and reason for why I need a miniature horse. If I didn’t already have that already, I’m going to be searching for one, and we are going to bring it to the Virgin Hotel. It’s really cool to know that even if meeting with a professional isn’t something that you are wanting to do at this moment. There’s even pet therapy. Having a pet around in your life, and having that energy from an animal is healing.

Yes, because they do feel your emotions. They know when you are sad. They know when you are angry. They give you unconditional love. I definitely recommend doing some pet therapy.

Yes, that is one of my favorite ones. I can’t wait to go home and hug my baby doggies. Another thing we want to talk about. If talking to someone is not something that you are looking to do at the moment, there are also alternative therapies. There are things that you can do to strengthen your mental health that seems simple, but a lot of times are overlooked.

Things like journaling, taking a bath, and self-care, which can also cross into another pillar that we were talking about before, which is self-love. Taking care of yourself and finding things that you can incorporate into your life on a weekly basis that feels therapeutic. That improve your quality of life and improve your mental health, it’s so important. Something else that I wanted to touch on is the importance of nutritional therapy. This is something that I also feel gets overlooked a lot of times.

I want a little disclaimer. We are not doctors, so for anything that we share with you, make sure that you are consulting with your physicians or a professional. We are here to be your online best friends, be your Vegas girls. Talk with you guys, hang out with you, and discuss things that have helped us and have worked for us.

Mental health is something that hits home and is one of the reasons why I’m so passionate about this topic, because I, myself have had some struggles. I’m an artist. I’m an extremely emotional person. I have had my down moments in my life. I have had close friends that have also struggled with mental health. This is something that I’m extremely passionate about.

I want to share with you guys what has helped me because it took me many years to figure out what methods and what things I can incorporate into my life that would help me. One of the things that I want to share with you is the benefit of nutritional therapy. Something that I found fascinating is, quite a few years ago when I was struggling with my mental health, I went to go see a doctor.

I was like, “I think I’m going to need to be starting a medication or something. I don’t know what to do. I’m at a low point and I think I need to seek out some serious help.” Something that my doctor told me was like, “No problem. We can absolutely do that. There’s nothing wrong if we need to do that, but let’s get your vitamin D3 levels checked.”

She told me, “I have seen many people struggling with mental health where they get their vitamin D levels checked and it ends up being low.” I had no idea that this was a thing and I feel like it’s not talked about enough. I want to read to you guys some of the symptoms of having low vitamin D levels. Having low vitamin D levels can also be very similar symptoms to clinical depression.

It can be mood changes accompanied by overwhelming feelings of sadness or hopelessness, fatigue, forgetfulness, loss of interest in activities that previously sparked excitement, anxiety, loss of appetite, excessive weight loss, or gained trouble sleeping, and more. If you are experiencing any of those things, I encourage you to talk with your doctor. Consider getting your vitamin D levels checked.

We went and got mine checked. Sure enough, they were low. I started supplementing with vitamin D3. Every single week to this day, I go to Regenerate Medical Concierge in Vegas. I get vitamin D3 shots every single week. I cannot tell you how life-changing. When I say life-changing, literally, for me at that point in my life was the difference between me wanting to continue my life or not.

It changed my life just by getting this vitamin D supplementation. Again, I’m not a doctor, Dezzee is not a doctor. Check with your physicians, but I encourage you guys to get that checked. That might be something that could be low, that a lot of times can be overlooked. It could save someone’s life. I want to share that with you and emphasize how important it’s to get those vitamin D3 levels checked. Even though we are in Las Vegas and we are in the sun, vitamin D typically comes from the sun. It is in some foods, but mostly from the sun.

In Seattle or London where it’s glooming cloudy all the time, a lot of those tend to have lower mental health because they are not exposed to enough vitamin D.

That’s statistically a very common thing that people in areas where it’s gloomy a lot, where it’s raining, that there are higher rates of mental health struggles and depression. Personally, even though we are in a sunny city, I don’t go in the sun that much because I’m trying not to get wrinkles. I’m trying to protect my skin. At the same time, there are pros and cons to everything.

That literally could save someone’s life. I want to emphasize that to you. That’s an important one. We want to let you guys know that this pillar of therapy is so important. There’s nothing to be ashamed of in seeking professional help. Talking with somebody is so beneficial for your mental health, and can improve your life so much.

There's nothing to be ashamed of about seeking professional help. Talking with somebody is beneficial for your mental health, and can really improve your life. Click To Tweet

Get those vitamin D levels checked because it was life-changing for me. I think it could be life-changing for a lot of you out there who may be struggling. Make sure you come to the Virgin Hotels Las Vegas because we care about mental health here. We are all about the fun, we are all about the partying, and we are all about having a good time. We also want to make sure you guys are mentally doing good. We are here to be your family. We are here to be your online friends. We want you guys to be a part of the community. You can go to DestinyMalibuPodcast.com to learn more information.

We have got some acoustic music coming up. I am an artist, I am a singer, as well as a podcaster. Dezzee is a DJ. We got some musicians here with us. We are going to be singing some music for you. Make sure you check out my music, it’s Destiny Malibu. My Instagram, @DestinyMalibu. We are always talking about music and going over things like mental health with the show. Give us a follow, and we are so happy to be hanging out with you.

We are going to end it with our mantra, The Destiny Malibu Angel Squad mantra, which is something we like to say because it brings us together and it’s a really important message to remember. If you know it, say it with us. “If you hate, I love you. If you love me, I love you even more. You are not alone. We are in this together.” We love you guys so much. We will see you in the next episode. We are going to be doing some music for you. We love you.


Important Links

S1:E11 | Will This Grow Your “Mental Muscle”?

S1:E11 | Will This Grow Your “Mental Muscle”?

TDMP 11 | Mental Muscle


On to today’s episode…

Destiny spends a lot of time talking about the Seven Pillars of mental health. Today, she focuses on another one.

This pillar is easy to overlook. We often don’t associate it with mental health. We often don’t feel like doing it.

But when we do it? The benefits—physical, emotional and mental—are AMAZING! It can make us healthier and give us a dramatic mood lift.

In fact, a study from Harvard Medical School shows that, for some people who suffer from depression, this pillar works as well as antidepressants.

And it’s something we can do anywhere.

So what is it? Listen Now!

Listen to the podcast here


Will This Grow Your “Mental Muscle”?

We have some exciting news. We are going to be talking also about another one of the seven pillars of mental health. We have talked about self-love, purpose, and social life, and now we are going to be talking about exercise.

Everybody’s favorite thing to do.

For a lot of us, sometimes it’s hard to get up and move, especially when our phones are so entertaining.

We are tired from work all day and we are like, “Do I want to go to the gym right now?”

Exercise is so pivotal for quality mental health. I noticed a dramatic difference in my mood when I started making it a priority to exercise regularly.

For me too. When I am stressed or angry about something, my go-to thing is to move around, go for a walk, dance, or go to the gym to get that tension out of my body.

I want to read to you an awesome fact from Harvard Medical School. It says, “For some people, exercise works as well as antidepressants.” That’s insane. What an incredible tool we have at our fingertips. When I’m having a tough day or a difficult day, what can I do to help myself to get out of this mood or whatever it is? When I go to the gym, even if I don’t want to go initially, I always feel so much better.

It says, “Although exercise alone isn’t enough for someone with severe depression,” for those of you who are on medication, that’s totally fine. This is also even an additional thing that we can add to our regimen, regardless of, what that looks like for you. It says, “People who are depressed, neuroscientists have noticed that the hippocampus in the brain, the region that helps regulate mood is smaller. Exercise supports nerve cell growth in the hippocampus improving nerve cell connections, which helps relieve depression.”

That’s awesome.

This is huge. We often hear these things like, “Drink water or exercise,” whatever it is. It goes in one ear and out the other. Sometimes like, “The old adage of exercise.” Exercising is so beneficial for our lives.

If you think about it, that’s saying the hippocampus is a growing muscle. When you go and work out, you are growing your physical muscles, but you are also growing your mental muscles.

When you go and work out, you're growing your physical muscles, but you're also growing your mental muscles. Click To Tweet

That’s such a good point. That’s fascinating. It creates new neuro connections in the hippocampus. Desiree and I both love to be active in different ways.

She’s more of a gym girl.

I’m a gym girl. Shout out to my gym people.

I am more of a go out and dance, do a sport, or something like that.

I have gotten into line dancing with Desiree. We do that every single week. Sometimes I’m able to get Desiree to the gym with me.

I try to go about once a week. Once a week I’m like, “I don’t get to go dancing. Let’s go hit the gym.”

If you are not a gym person, there are so many ways to get the exercise that doesn’t have to be the gym or this insane rigorous workout.

Yes. Stretching, doing yoga, or something that’s relaxing, but stretching your muscles. I got into yoga the last few years and I did it twice a week. You can do it anywhere. If you have a yoga mat, you can do it at home or wherever. There are so many videos on YouTube on how to do it. Maybe we will even do some videos on how you do yoga.

Maybe we should. It will be fun. We will maybe do a guided workout video, even though I’m not a fitness instructor, but maybe we could show you what we do or our go-to exercises. I also want to stress the importance of fashion at the gym. It’s funny because sometimes we can forget how much an outfit can change how we are feeling. Honestly, a good outfit for a guy or girl has the ability to boost your confidence and mood. Nothing makes me want to work workout more than feeling like a gym baddie in my outfit. If I have a gym baddie outfit on, I’m like, “I have to work out. It’s non-negotiable.” Get those cute workout clothes.

As I said, it doesn’t have to be the gym. You can go on a hike, swim, play pickleball, or tennis, take a dance class, or go for a walk. As Desiree said, you can online on YouTube. It’s so amazing with technology how there are so many lessons online. I have a friend who said that they learned how to line dance from watching a YouTube video. That’s amazing.

Stretching your body is not even that vigorous, but it will improve your mood. It’s making that connection between body and mind. A lot of times we associate exercise with our physical appearance more than anything else. “I got to get shredded for summer. I got to work out to have a summer body.” The physical benefits of exercise are amazing, but for anyone who is struggling with mental health, which all of us, at some point do because we are all humans, in your mind, in my opinion, not make a physical appearance the focus because all shapes and sizes are beautiful, but make overall health the focus.

If we switch the focus from appearance to health, it’s much more encouraging. It’s much more amazing. Instead of being like, “I got to go to the gym because I ate too much,” or something like that. You wake up and go, “I got to the gym because I love myself and I need to show my body love by taking care of my health.” We want you guys to incorporate exercise. Send us to DM and let us know what your activity of choice is.

What’s your favorite thing to do for exercise?

Send us a picture or a selfie. We love to see that.

You can send it to AskDestinyMalibu.com.

We have a special announcement. We are so excited to announce that we are going to be having some upcoming shows at the Virgin Hotel in Las Vegas. Three of the shows we are going to be doing the show live at the Virgin Hotel.

You want to be there for it.

In addition, after the live show, we are going to be doing some live music and then a little meet and greet. It’s going to be so much fun. On one of the days, we are going to be having a Pre-Release Party at the Virgin Hotel. It’s for my upcoming song called Say My Name, which I am so excited for you guys to hear. Everybody that comes to The Shag Room at the Virgin Hotel for the Pre-Release Party is going to be hearing it for the very first time before anyone else.

That event will be for those 21 and over. Make sure you get your tickets as soon as possible because there is limited capacity.

I’m going to let you know the dates. The first show is going to be on October 14, 2022, for all ages. The Pre-Release Party is going to be on October 21, 2022, at The Shag Room at the Virgin Hotel, and that’s 21 plus make sure you get your tickets. The second show is going to be on November 4, 2022. The third show is going to be on December 9, 2022.

Make sure you block out those dates. Come to Las Vegas and hang out with us. It is going to be so much fun. We are so excited to be partnering with the Virgin Hotel on this. We can’t wait to see your beautiful faces, do the show live, do some live music, and share my new song with you. I am so over the moon. We are so excited because the Virgin Hotel Las Vegas is going to be giving one of our listeners a free weekend getaway at the Virgin Hotel.

If you’d like to learn how to enter that sweepstake, you can go to DestinyMalibuPodcast.com.

Make sure you enter to win, block out those dates, and come to our shows at the Virgin Hotel in Las Vegas. We love you folks so much. We hope that you enjoyed this episode. To close out the show, we got to say the Angel Squad mantra. If you are at home or wherever you are, make sure you say this out loud and it is, “If you hate me, I love you. If you love me, I love you even more. You are not alone. We are in this together.” I love you all so much and see you on the next episode.


Important Links